This is a response to the commonly heard phrase, “Have kindness in your words.”
Here’s the anatomy of a mundane person:
They’ve got two legs, two arms, a body, a brain. They know the difference between what it means to be kind and it what it means to be a vile manipulator. This mundane person stands up for injustice wherever they see it and this person brings a wave of effortless compassion through their workplace and relationships. This is the person schools strive to turn their students into.
Here’s the anatomy of a financially successful person:
They’ve got two legs, two arms, a body, and two brains. One brain knows what kindness looks like and what it looks like to be a vile manipulator. Let’s name this brain Sympathy. The other brain ignores all ethical and moral guidelines defined by the first brain. Let’s name this brain Antipathy. Easy. Self explanatory.
This financially successful person knows more than their mundane counterparts. They know when sympathy is needed and they know when antipathy is needed while their mundane friend mixes it all up in the wrong way.
“Have kindness in your words. Always. No matter where you are. With kindness, you will be happy.” I’ve heard these words countless times before but I can’t help turn away with a bitter graze. What if family struggles financially? Happy is hardly a word I would use to describe their situation. Our school is full to the brim of elites but there is no shortage of parents who work for hours to bring enough money for both school tuition and to put food on the table.
Those struggling parents are kind people. Their children are kind people. If kindness is supposed to bring happiness, where’s their happiness?
Kindness gets you nowhere. Countless people would argue that success is about reaching your own personal goals. Sure, it’s upraising to accomplish what you set out to do. But truthfully, lifetime success and happiness is defined by money. And money doesn’t come with kindness.
It’s a simple concept: not everyone who has money is happy, but everyone who is happy has money.
Money translates into financial security. It’s something people all over the world will struggle to achieve for generations to come. People work themselves to insanity to achieve financial security; they work themselves mad trying to provide their families with a better life than what they have. How can you be happy if you worry about your next meal every hour? An easy example is set in the heart of this school.
Asian stereotypes are nerdy, hard-working students at school who cry with a 98% on their math test. Society isn’t completely wrong: these stereotypes come from somewhere and the idea of success with direct correlation to money is a rooted belief in many internationally educated Asians. They are widely made fun of but not many people focus on where this ethical approach to education comes from. Asian countries, widely speaking places like China and Afghanistan, aren’t well developed at this point in time and have high rates of poverty. Parents have taken their children out of these developing countries so their children can have a chance to study internationally.
Good grades and activities are the easiest way into a good university which the easiest way to land a successful international job and the easiest way to make money. This money will keep families out of their original country.
Not saying murders and rapes don’t happen in first world countries. But at least in a first world country you can fight for your rights. In Mexico, the first rule you hear is “don’t call the cops.” Why? “Because they might actually come.” The justice system has long fallen to the ground and still hasn’t stood up to protect those who can’t protect themselves in such developing countries. Without a good justice system, the country can’t run forward. Until this issue is fixed, internationally educated Asians will continue to have high standards so they can keep their families out of their origin country. Money. That’s the key to keep themselves in a first world country and away from the dangers of their home country.
From this model, exclude all those who already have already achieved financial security overseas; they’re already permanently moved to places outside their developing country. I’m talking about Asians who struggle for money, who live in the fear of having to come back “home”.
I didn’t forget about my two friends: the mundane person and the financially successful person.
Kindness is something both the mundane and successful person understand. They also understand financial insecurities and the need for happiness. The difference is that the successful knows exactly how to get their security and happiness. The mundane doesn’t.
Sympathy has a place in our world among friends, family, relationships, charity work, and so many other aspects. But it has no place in the ladder to success. Antipathy takes its place on the ladder.
As I mentioned earlier, kindness will get us absolutely nowhere. In the corporate world, people care about the work you do and not the degree of kindness you show. They don’t care if you take money from the poor; they don’t care if you push children in the playground. It’s why the corporate world is seen one of the most corrupted and political industries: Antipathy is evident through every strand and every successful story.
Because there’s no other way to the top of the world without manipulation. There’s no way up there without turning your back on those who call for you. There’s no way without walking past the slums in your country with designer clothing. There’s no way without the ruthlessness the top entrepreneurs possess.
Let’s take the example of Donald Trump. Jaws couldn’t leave the ground when people heard about his success in the presidential elections 2018. In reality, only 27% of Americans voted for him. His foul words, his attitude, the spit flying from his mouth from every word. He may not have convinced all Americans to vote for him but at the end of the day his success came from persuading people not to vote for Hillary Clinton.
Analysing the two candidates and their speeches bring forward a lot of differences. Donald Trump was crude. It’s a known fact. On the other hand, Hillary Clinton was firm and refused to go to the extent of Trump in her language. Who was the one person everyone knew around the world? Who was it whom everyone hated? It was Trump they knew about; not Clinton. His ruthless and absolutely disgusting opinions about women brought the attention onto him. It wasn’t Clinton they were looking at; they were looking at Trump.
Trump is an extreme example of someone who had two brains: Sympathy and Antipathy but they were so focused on the Antipathy that they lost contact with their Sympathy.
Successful people know when they need Antipathy and when they need Sympathy. They need to be manipulative, cruel, and ruthless with their words while their way to the top while reserving their kindness and love for everything outside their train of success. Charity work is important, but don’t show any mercy to competitive companies till you have the liberty to take pity on them from the top.
Let me translate this to the situation students are in right now. Universities won’t see your kindness. They only see your grades and activities. They know they have to select people who will be successful in the future financially and they do this to bring up their own reputation. It’s all a game and if you don’t learn to navigate it now while you’re still practically a baby, you’re dead.
I’m not saying everyone should walk around as ruthless and vile manipulators. Nor am I saying to turn into Donald Trump or hurt anyone emotionally or physically because I can’t iterate how wrong that is as well. But the school needs to be more transparent about the truths of life and the corruption embedded deep in every industry of the working world: overall success in life is about financial security and it takes a lot of Antipathy to get there.
Do we want this societal construct to continue or will we stand for change?
It depends. Maybe we’ll get swept by the river of Antipathy from those going up the same river as you. There’s no way around it. No way under it. Look at it straight in the eye and deal with it. Better you learn now than later.
Disclaimer: This controversial article was in no means a way to hurt anyone. It is simply a way to stimulate discussion on the casts in society and how success is defined by presenting a single opinion which multiple people may have.
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