In a school like UWC Dover, especially with its clearly defined mission statement, we would expect it to be accepting of all races, religions, genders, sexualities, and other societal groups that the world has seen debated over in so many different countries. Our school aims to normalize the marginalized and smaller groups within our community to ensure people feel comfortable to express themselves in whichever way they feel most comfortable.
The question is: are we doing that effectively enough, or are we failing to practice what we preach?
As a member of the student body, I would argue that we are failing to meet our goals as a school. While many students may say they support certain societal issues, they unconsciously use derogatory slurs that can lead to many of their peers not taking part in activities they enjoy, or suppressing their love for any in particular. In fact, particular phrases and words have become so heavily used that students often do not realize how their words impact their peers.
One of the most common phrases I have heard when walking down student hallways or talking to some of my classmates is the phrase, “that’s gay”, commonly used when someone - typically a boy - is doing something that does not conform with societal norms, or even a way of undermining boys and what they like to do. If one were to hear it for the first time, one can notice the heavily negative connotation tainting the word, but after hearing it so many times, one may not be aware of how harmful these words can be. The sharp way in which one throws the word out, almost like a curse, spitting the word out, makes it seem as if being gay or doing certain ‘unmasculine’ things is bad.
The word “gay” has become a derogatory slur that it was never meant to be used as. It’s shameful that this phrase has been used so much that it’s normalized - that using it makes us seem “cool”. Normalizing this phrase in turn normalizes disrespect towards the LGBTQ+ community.
Not only does this phrase hurt the LGBTQ+ community, but it also contributes to the reinforcement of gender stereotypes that we, as a school, should be aiming to break. Gender stereotypes refer to the expectations that boys and girls are supposed to uphold. For example, boys are “supposed” to never show emotion in order to be “strong” and play contact sports like rugby. By telling boys that they can’t cry and girls that they’re weaker and more emotional, do we help improve the general wellbeing of our society?
Of course, this is extremely untrue, and we should all pursue what makes us happy and interests us. However, students in our community use remarks that reinforce these stereotypes and cause people to suppress what they enjoy doing because of the fear of being judged for it. Words like “simp” only exacerbate this fear. A simp refers to a man who “overvalues” a woman and “puts her on a pedestal”. These are the types of words that discourage the mingling of genders in the first place!
As a male member of the UWC Dover community, I feel slightly awkward to sign up for literary activities, even though I enjoy them, as I know that I will be one of the few boys there, if not the only one. I signed up for certain activities this year and in many of them, I’m the only boy there. It disappoints me that male participation is so low, because I’m confident there are other boys out there who enjoy such activities. The unconscious way in which we use our language seems to contribute to this doubt, and in many cases can cause us to decide to not pursue our passions.
Words have different meanings for boys and girls, which further reiterates gender stereotypes. These fall in line with the expectations of boys and girls that we should be trying to break. An example of this is the word “b*tch”, which is also used many times on campus. When one calls a male a b*tch, they’re essentially calling him wimpy, and weak, which further exposes the expectation that men should not show emotion in order to be “strong”, but when this is applied to a female, she’s referred to as loud, aggressive and rude, which exposes the gender hierarchy that still exists.
Two completely different meanings, one huge problem.
Our school is supposed to advocate for unity and acceptance and set an example for others of how we need to respect everyone regardless of their identity. We are meant to accept people for who they are, and from an outside perspective, it looks like we’re doing the right thing. But the truth is, we still have a long way to go before people feel comfortable enough to express themselves. These are only a few examples of the discrimination our students still face. Our words and actions define us more than our sexuality, race, religion and gender ever will. If there’s one takeaway from this article, it should be this: think before you speak.
Think about the impact your words can have on others, and how, by repeating that phrase one more time, you are contributing to the problem. It does not make you cooler, it does not help you fit in, it does not help other people feel better if you use derogatory slurs, or add negative connotations to words that were never harmful in the first place.
Most people don’t fit the stereotypical human that society wants to be, and that’s okay. Not everyone can be the “normal” white male. If everyone thought before they spoke, thought before casually throwing out a word so it just gets normalized further, who knows? Our mission statement would finally be fulfilled by us students and may change the flippant, careless way in which we use our words. It’s time for us to make that change. Not soon, not later, but right now.
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